Out of town yet home, and my heart, body, brain, soul-drenched toast waffles of skin betray me in the subconscious convolutions of the dream space. Bittersweet delusions of that ridiculous outrage that leave me tingling and guilty and shamed and…
Category: Me time
A box too small
Is it ever possible to bring to life a wet firecracker? Can damp and destroyed fireworks ever be ignited to perform with that explosive beauty? Life took me to many places. One thing I told myself many years ago was “always…
Academia is killing me…
… soon I’m pulling the plug or, I guess, it will be pulled for me. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Impoving one’s job situation in…
Choose your battles
The battery is on red. Beep. Beep. Beep. Warning: energy level low. All non-life-sustaining systems on standby. Blood flow, lung expansion decompression, synapses, heartbeat, beat, beat, be-at, be-aht, de-aht, de-daht, du-damt, du-dum, du-dum… Am I sick or just exhausted? Am…
I am only happy when it rains
I always wanted to be good at music. To be able to sing, carry a tune, play an intricate melody, to move someone with an expression without comparison. Music is a faster route to emotions than any other art. And…
Persistently pushing my shopping cart forward …
It’s been a strange week. Strange decade. Nothing new, nothing old. Just that familiar oddity of something missing. Like the inverse of a stone in my shoe, it wears me down. Slowly. Hello again, old friend. How’ve you been? I’m…
…and you’d better hold on tight, ’cause I like the sense of falling…
It materialises out of nowhere. For me, briefly in the beat of a particular song. Like the faintest scent fluttering in the air, it reminds me of who I am beneath all the covers: the unique vibration of my soul.…
Confessions of a self
On occasion, I gorge on my own writing. Like a bulimic, I stuff my face with the oversweet cupcakes and madman whiskey shots filling my post archive. In lonely moments, I can spend hours reading and rereading my old posts…
When there is nothing left to say
Curt Cobain supposedly said it is better to burn out than to slowly fade away. I was never really a fan of Nirvana in the times they were famous. Either I was too young to “get it” or still too…
Temporal consequences
A new year began accompanied by the exploding sound of fireworks and drunken teenagers. Yet as the new day shows its face, it is a rainy grey that defines the new year’s first heartbeats. Is this what the year has…